Valon and Alister's Baking Experiance
by Dragon Servant Kida
Summary: Chapter seven is UP! This fic is basicly about Valon and Alister having to bake a cake for Dartz, and running into alot of troble along the way. They are now on the neverland ranch! Sorry it took so LonG!
1. Goin' shopping

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I don't own Burger King, and i have no IDEA who Rose is.If I did, I would make this into an episode, not a FAN fic.( And don't sue me, 'cause if you do, all yourdoing is wasting your time.)

Valon had a mission. Master Dartz had assigned him to do this task. He, and only he could complete such a vile mission. He had to, go…GROCERY SHOPPING! (Insert sinister music here.) Actually, Valon and Alister were just going to the supermarket to pick up some stuff for Dartz. "Just one stupid assignment after another." Alister mumbled as he and Valon walked across the parking lot. Valon smirked. "Then why don't you join Charlie's Angels for you dose of action? He asked. "Shut up!" yelled Alister, as he walked along kicking an old soda can. "Yah, well I wouldn't talk Crocodile Dundee!"

That wiped the smile off Valon's face. He looked down at the pavement. A seagull landed in front of him so he kicked it. The seagull returned the favor with an aerial bombing. "Yuck!" Valon yelled. Alister broke into hysterical laughter. "Shut up Shelia!" said Valon. "If I didn't think it was wrong to hit a lady, you'd be dead by now!" Valon used a tissue to clean up the mess. Finally, they were at the front of the supermarket.

Once inside, they got plenty of dirty looks from all the 'normal' people. They ignored them and got strait down to business. Valon took out Master Dartz's list. "Let's see, we need to get: sugar, butter, eggs and bread." he said, quickly scanning the list. "Three things we never have at our apartment, thanks to you." Said Alister, sounding annoyed. "Let's just get this over and done with, okay?" "Why? Late for you manicure?" asked Valon. "Let's go," said Alister, choosing to ignore Valon's last remark.

They got through shopping without further mishap, excluding the incident where Alister took his fury out on a random bag of flour. The flour bag burst, leaving a very white Alister with a lot of explaining to do. Valon thought the incident extremely funny, especially when Alister had to pay for the flour.

Alister and Valon stopped for a bite to eat at Burger King before heading back to present Master Dartz with his groceries. The cashier looked at Alister. "Good afternoon, and welcome to Burger King. What can I get for you miss?" She inquired. Valon collapsed into hysterical laughter. "She called you MISS! HAHAHAHAHA!" Alister could feel his face glowing red. "Sir, I am a man." He deliberately called her "sir" even though her nametag clearly stated, "Hello, my name is Rose." "Oh," she said. The cashier blushed. "Forgive me sir, what would you like to order?"

They ordered and ate the food, and were getting up to leave when a seagull flew into the glass wall of Burger King. "Look Valon, your best (and only) friend is back!" remarked Alister. "Shut up, Alister," growled Valon. "At least I have friends, the way you dress, people would mistake you for a whore any day. Remember that time when you were walking and that guy pulled up beside you in his Limo and…" "Okay, yah I remember." Said Alister a little to loudly. "Let's just go." He said grabbing his trash and putting it on his tray.

"Excellent work, you two, I really am proud." Said Dartz with a grin. The groceries were delivered and Dartz was pleased. Alister and Valon were in Dartz's conference room. "I didn't think you could do it without Raphael to walk you through everything. Now, I have a bigger assignment for you."

I'll write more if you R&R. (I know, I suck, just please?) flame me if you want.


	2. Cookbooks are dangerous things

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else, really.

Thanks to all those who reviewed. If you didn't, thanks any way for reading the story. I am open for suggestions, and special thanks to swimmurgirl, I'm using your suggestion (if it's okay with you, of course.)

.:Chapter start:.

"Alister, Valon, with the groceries you just bought (and some other ingredients), I want you to…" began Dartz. Valon could feel his heart pounding. What was he going to make them do this time? It couldn't possibly be worse than grocery shopping. "…Bake a cake for me." Finished Dartz. Alister and Valon just stared at Dartz. "Excuse me?" said Alister, "You want us to do WHAT?" There was anger in Alister's voice. Dartz just smirked and said, "It's my birthday today, and I want a cake." He looked at them. "Is that a problem? Because if it is, you can always just ballroom dance for me instead."

"No, not a problem." Said Valon, a little too quickly. "We'll just ah, go home and make it…" "Not so fast", said Dartz, "You'll just go BUY a cake. I want you to MAKE a cake." Dartz snapped his fingers and a butler appeared at his side. "Alfred, can you show theses gentlemen to the new kitchen?" He asked. Valon and Alister followed the Butler out the door without a fuss. As soon as they were out of sight, Dartz used his foot to push a button on the floor under his desk. The back wall of the room lifted, and it revealed a large window that went across the entire length of a professional kitchen. Dartz grinned. "This is going to be interesting." He thought.

The butler led Dartz and Alister into the kitchen. He left without saying a word. Valon and Alister looked around. An enormous mirror covered one of the walls of the kitchen. (A/N: the window mentioned earlier.) A shelf of cookbooks lined the back wall. All the appliances in the kitchen were metal and expensive-looking. Alister and Valon stared at each other. "Valon, you go get the recipe for a simple cake out of one of the cookbooks, and I'll get everything set up." Said Alister.

Valon walked over to the shelf and began to look for a good cookbook. "You know Alister, the only reason I'm going to do what you say is because girls are much better at cooking than guys." He said as he flipped the pages of a cookbook, looking for an easy recipe. Alister gave Valon a dirty look, but Valon ignored him. " Nothing in this one." He said, tossing the cookbook over his shoulder. The book hit the back of Alister's head. "OWWW!" yelped Alister. " Watch where you're throwing those things!" He said, rubbing the place where the cookbook had hit him. "Sorry Shelia." Valon said, and he turned back to the cookbooks.

He turned and looked back at the cookbooks. "Hmmmm…." He thought, maybe this will help." He pulled a cookbook entitled: " The Moron's Guide to Cooking and Baking from A to Z." He flipped through and found a recipe for a simple cake. He read over it quickly. It seemed simple enough for a chimp to follow and produce a half-decent cake. "I've got a recipe." He said, walking over to Alister with the cookbook. "Let's get started then." Said Alister.


	3. Batter Mishaps

Disclaimer: How many times must I type the same thing? I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Blah blah blah.

Chapter Three

Valon placed the cookbook on an empty spot on the counter. He looked down at the recipe. "Okay, we need four potatoes…" He began. "POTATOES!" Said Alister. "Are you sure that's the right recipe?" Valon looked at the top of the page. He blushed. "Oops, sorry mate, that was a curry recipe." Alister shook his head. He flipped the page back and there was the cake recipe.

"Right, okay, we need eggs (whites only), flour, sugar vanilla, milk, and butter combined in a large bowl." Alister peered down at the recipe, just in case. After all, Master Dartz wouldn't want potatoes in his cake. "Valon, take these eggs and put the yokes in a bowl to the side and bring me the whites." Valon, not knowing much about cooking, did just that. While Alister combined the other ingredients (With poor measuring, I can assure you.) He went over to the sink, cracked the eggs and dumped their entire continents into the bowl. He grabbed another bowl from the cupboard and placed all the eggshells in it. He walked over and handed it to Alister.

"What's this supposed to be?" Alister asked, as Valon gave it to him. "Egg whites." He said, and looked at Alister. " What's wrong?" I meant the liquid part of the egg the clear part around the yoke, not the actual WHITE part of the egg! That's the shell!" "Well Shelia, how was I supposed to know? What color are they?" He said rattling the egg shells around under Alister's nose. " They're white, but…never mind. Please tell me you kept the yokes." "Yep. He grabbed the bowl that had the egg whites and yokes in it He gave it to Alister. Valon had done a horrible job cracking the eggs. There were pieces of shell floating around in it. Alister didn't seem to care. He dumped the bowl in, yokes and all.

Now it was time to use the electric mixer to mix the cake batter. Alister poured the batter into the mixer's bowl, and plugged it is while Valon tided up a little. Actually, all Valon did was make the place look worse. He some how managed to coat the kitchen counter in flour and butter. Alister didn't fair any better in pouring the batter, it went all over the counter and on the flour in a big, goopy mess. Alister caught some of the batter rolling down the counter and scooped it back into the mixer bowl. He scrapped some of it off the floor and put it into the bowl. " I'm glad Master Dartz can't see this." He thought as he scraped the last of the batter off the counter.

"Eww…" Dartz thought. That's disgusting. He had been watching the whole thing through the one-way mirror He grabbed his memo pad off the table. "Note to self: Never eat ANYTHING cooked by the DOOM bikers."

Valon and Alister stared at the batter. It was very lumpy and had hairs and bits of eggshells and dirt floating in it. They stared at each other. "It will look better when it's cooked." Said Alister, sounding more confident than he felt. " It better Shelia, or were both in for it. Alister reached over and flipped the switch on the blender to "on". The blender splashed Alister and Valon in the face with the batter. "Yuck!" Yelled Valon. Alister flipped the switch on the blender to "off". "Sorry", sputtered Alister, through his face full of batter. "The mixer was on too high." He turned it down to low, and pushed the "on" button again. This time the mixer mixed the batter slowly, and no one got covered in any more batter. "You'll pay for that one Shelia." Valon growled.


	4. Valon's Revenge

Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh is not mine. It will not be, even if I do rule the world. Your not reading this, are you?

Thanks to the one person who reviewed since my last update! WARNING: There is some slight Valon bashing in this chapter. I don't know why, but there is. On with the show!

.:Chapter Start:.

Valon and Alister attempted to clean the kitchen as the mixer mixed unattended. Valon began plotting his revenge on Alister. Suddenly, he had an idea. Valon grabbed the bag of flour of the shelf where Alister had placed it. Alister was at the sink, washing out the bowl they had used for the eggs. Valon sneaked up behind Alister, holding the bag of flour ready. "Shelia!" he shouted. Alister whipped around and Valon emptied half the bag of flour on him. Alister, who was now very white, pounced on Valon. He beat up Valon, he was able to only because Valon was still in a fit of hysterical laughter.

Alister got up and dusted himself off. He was covered in head to toe in floor thanks to Valon, who in return now had a bloody nose. Alister went to check on the mixer. For some reason, it had stopped mixing. Alister leaned closer to look for any problems. Valon got up of the floor and looked over at Alister. "What's the matter with the mixer?" he asked. I don't know Alister said, leaning a bit closer then BOOM! The mixer exploded right in Alister's face. Scorching hot bits of metal went everywhere, including the batter.

Valon collapsed with hysterical laughter again. Alister's face was charred from the explosion. "SHUT UP!" Alister yelled at Valon who was on the ground again, sick to his stomach with laughter.

After Valon had got over the exploding mixer, He helped Alister get everything ready to put the cake batter into the oven. " Go set the oven to 350 degrees." Said Alister as he poured the batter into two cake pans, burnt metal and all. Valon walked over to the oven. " What temperature did he say?" Valon thought as he stared at the knobs and dials on the oven. " I think it was 650 degrees, I'm pretty sure it was." He reached over and set the oven for 650. " The ovens ready, Alister." He called.

Alister had just finished pouring the cake batter. The funny thing was, it looked kind of brownish, yet it was a vanilla cake. The only thing the mixer had done was ad little bits of metal to the batter. It was still as lumpy as before, and it still had dirt and hair in it. Alister shrugged and picked one of his own short red hairs out of the batter. He picked up the pans and walked to the other side of the room. Valon opened the oven and Alister put the cake pans in.

On the other side of the mirror, Dartz was, well, being Dartz. He pushed some of his hair out of his face and began talking to himself. "Those imbeciles actually think I'm going to eat that cake? Then I'm going to send them to the most terrible place. A place worse than the shadow realm." Dartz smiled to himself. "What fools." He thought.

Another chapter done! Yay! R&R if you want me to write more!

( The Shadow Realm thing is a surprise for latter chapters! )


	5. The Cake

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and I defiantly don't own Canada. (But I now live there.) Or The NeverLand Ranch,for that matter.

Thanks to all those who supported me throughout the story, special thanks to LeDiva, who has reviewed almost every chapter! I want to say hi to all my friends at my school, Bishop Scalabrini Catholic School, 8th grade class of 2005. You Guys rock! Is anyone reading this?

.:Chapter Start:.

Alister and Valon had given up on cleaning the kitchen. They sat at the small table on the other side of the room while the cake baked, or should I say while the cake was burnt. Valon had set the oven three hundred degrees too high. After about two minutes of waiting, Alister went over to the oven, to check on the cake, mainly because he was bored of watching Valon play with the rubber band he had found in his pocket, and he didn't want to be Valon's target for rubber band shooting.

He bent down and peered through the oven window at the cake. Both of the cake pans were in the oven. Both of which now contained flaming cake. Alister gasped in horror." Get over here and help me!" he shouted. He attempted to pull the cake pans out of the oven. (Using an oven mitt, of course.) He threw the pans, flaming cake and all, on to the counter. Valon used a fire extinguisher on both the cakes.

Alister looked from the smoldering cake pans, to Valon, then back to the smoldering cake pans. The cake's layers were now 1/8 their original size. "Well, I guess they could pass as chocolate cake." Said Valon, staring at the cake pans. "I've seen chiefs light food on fire on purpose." Alister smacked him on the forehead. "That's COOKING not BAKING! Things on fire in baking are very, very bad." Valon shrugged. "Well, at least we know it's cooked all the way through. Alister stuck a toothpick into the center of the cake. The inside was still gooey. (A/N: There're Geniuses! Not even I can burn AND under cook something at the same time!)

Alister and Valon did the best they could to ice the cake. Valon made it extremely difficult by eating almost all the icing. It was a good thing that the cake was so small, otherwise it wouldn't have worked. Iced, the cake looked half-decent. (It's still Fatal to your eat, though.) They were ready to present Master Dartz with his Birthday cake (If it was even his birthday.)

They followed the maze of passageways back the way they came. Soon enough, they were back in Master Dartz's conference room. They set the cake on the desk in front of him and waited for his response. Dartz looked at the cake in all its glory. He pushed it off his desk and into a waiting trashcan. " I saw you make that cake." He said with a cold smile and a cruel stare. Valon and Alister looked at each other. They both had one thought on their minds, " We're dead." Dartz continued; "and as a punishment for your treachery, I'm sending you to somewhere far worse than the shadow realm, I'm sending you to The NeverLand Ranch for the weekend." Valon and Alister screamed one final word in horror before Dartz opened a portal to their doom; "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

The End!

Please R&R!


	6. Enter The Ranch!

NO wait! It's not over! I'm back, and I've overdosed on animutations! So I am proud to present what happened to Valon and Alister after they were sent to the Neverland ranch. (Note: Raphael IS in the chapters here after, sorry about before!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh

Valon landed head first in a heap on the ground. Alister tumbled out of the vortex after him, landing smack on top of Valon's head. "Get off me, Shelia!" He said shoving Alister of. He pulled him self in to a sitting position on the ground and began brushing leaves and twigs out of his hair. They had apparently landed in a bunch of bushes. Alister groaned and stood up, trying to shake of the feeling of being tumbled around in the vortex that Dartz had created to send them to Neverland.

"What are you doing?" Valon hissed, yanking Alister down. "If we're seen, we're done for! You remember were we are, don't you?" Valon parted the leaves of the bush they had landed in. They looked on in horror at what the saw before them. The "ranch" looked more like an amusement park; the kind very young children would attend. There were Peter Pan themed rides everywhere, the perfect death trap for the unsuspecting child. Valon beckoned to Alister to follow him; staying low they crept through the bushes.

Valon lead Alister half way out of the park, towards the barbed wire fence. A security guard stood close to the gate pacing back and forth. His walky-talky beeped. He lifted it up and pushed the button. Valon and Alister crouched in the bush, perfectly still, not wanting to be discovered. The Guard muttered something into the Walky-talky about "He said the other two are on the ranch" Beside Valon, Alister twitched funny Valon looked over at him. Alister sneezed. The Guard was on them in a second, they struggled and fought but in the end the Guard won by calling back up from the mansion. The guards knocked them out and dragged them to the mansion, to be reunited with an old friend…

When Valon and Alister awoke, a familiar face smiled over them. "So you guys screwed up on your mission to," Said Raphael. "Welcome to the ranch…" Valon got up and looked at his friend. For reasons unknown, Raphael was clad in a retarded skimpy French maid outfit. "My god," said Valon rubbing his head, "What the hell happened to you?

That's it for now; my siblings are nagging me… Who invented younger siblings any way? I was here first!


	7. Out The Window!

Disclaimer: why is this fic in two c2s? I don't remember signing anything... ah well on with the show. i don't own frekin' yu-gi-oh. duh.

.:Chapter start:.

Raphael sighed and looked out the window overlooking the ranch. "I was supposed to get Dartz's dry cleaning. On the way back, I dropped it in the mud and he sent me here." "That's not what I ment, Raphael I ment WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR OUTFIT?" Raphael looked down at his outfit. "oh this? the new boss made me wear it.

"NEW BOSSSSS?" Valon and Alister shrekied.

"Yay, he's a bit creepy, but he's alot nicer than our old boss." shrugged Raphael. "having a gun placed to your head is alot easier

Alister ran over and grabed raphael. "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU? WAKE UPPPPPPPPPP" Valon screamed.

The door to the room slowly. Valon, Alister, and Raphael all turned to face the intrusion. suddenly...

The door flew open and Michael Jakson walked in. "Hey, boys" he said with a wink, "ya wanna dance?"

Raphael backed up and alister and varon backed up with him. "What's wrong? he said with a grin. I don't bite... often..."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Alister Varon and Rapheal tumbled out the window and landed in a heap on the lawn. Shatered glass lay in the grass around them. "muhhhuhmppp" said Alister, which was all he COULD say because Valon had landed on his head.

"uhhhhhhhhh" Raphael lifted his head. "Two stories is alot higher than it looks" He stood up and dusted himself off. Valon and Alister were wided eyed and and huddled against the wall of the ranch building. "What's wrong with you two?" Raphael asked. Valon pointed at Raphael "You might wanna fixs your skirt." he stapered. "Or think about wearng undergarmets." addded Alister.

okay short, but that's all for now. I'm really busy. I'll write the next chapter soon, okay? Oh and, It's called "Escape from Neverland Ranch" Over and out. Funky Llamas for ever!


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